Living with ADHD – When the World Feels Like Too Much and Too Little at the Same Time

Living with ADHD is like carrying a motor that never really stops.

An inner motion, sometimes filled with ideas and energy. Sometimes filled with frustration, exhaustion, and chaos. Many people who are diagnosed in adulthood describe it as “finally, the pieces falling into place”—but also as grieving everything that could have been different, if only there had been understanding earlier.

Many live with the feeling of being “too much”—too intense, too emotional, too scattered. Others feel “not enough”—never focused enough, organized enough, or stable enough.

It’s a paradox: to feel both of these states, often at the same time. ADHD isn’t always visible. Often, it lives quietly: in the struggle to start something you truly want to do, but somehow can’t. In the shame after yet another missed deadline, a lost key, or an impulsive comment you didn’t mean. In an inner noise that never seems to quiet down, even when everything around you is still.

Relationships are affected. When energy comes in waves, it’s hard to be consistent.

When you can’t regulate your emotions, everyday disagreements quickly turn into storms. When your attention wavers, others interpret it as disinterest. And yet, it’s often in relationships that people with ADHD have the biggest hearts—a deep loyalty and honesty.

When others don’t see through the surface, loneliness grows. Many have a history of being misunderstood. As children, they may have been wrongly labeled as “troublesome,” “daydreamers,” or “lazy.” As adults, they’re expected to “get it together.” The self-criticism is often harsh—learned after years of feeling different. Some develop mental health struggles like social anxiety or withdraw from everyday life, carrying the sense of never truly fitting in.

In the therapy room, I often meet this inner voice—the one that says you should be doing more, be different, function better. It’s a voice we can begin to listen to together, understand, and gently begin to change. With the right tools, it’s possible to build structure in the chaos, find strategies for focus and impulse control, and—perhaps most importantly—with an understanding of ADHD’s cognitive profile, open the door to self-awareness and self-acceptance.

In CBT adapted for ADHD, we start from your reality. It’s not about turning you into someone else. It’s about helping you reconnect with who you truly are, and embracing the strengths this cognitive profile brings—with all the demands, misunderstandings, and self-criticism stripped away. You are not broken. You just function differently. And it’s possible to create a life where your way of being has space to thrive.