Couples therapy: When desire fades

Many invest in their careers, homes, and dream vacations but neglect to invest in what impacts their quality of life the most—their relationships.

Sometimes, the problem stems from a lack of communication. One or both partners may feel uncertain about expressing their desires and needs. Other times, it’s about different ways of showing love. Every couple faces unique challenges. All relationships need structural, emotional, and physical reciprocity intimacy created through open and honest communication.

For many, especially women in midlife, intimacy has become just another task on the to-do list. Stress, exhaustion, hormones… there’s always something that dampens desire. Meanwhile, rejection hurts. He feels wounded, confused, and frustrated. Maybe he even blames himself? Maybe he has already stopped asking?

She says everything is fine, yet she feels like something is missing. The truth is, she might prefer a moment of silence, a warm bath, or a good book over spending energy on intimacy, which now feels more like a duty than a pleasure.

Deep down, she knows the growing distance between them is causing problems.

Many women give in, having "duty sex" once a month just to keep the relationship afloat. But ironically, this only makes things worse. Men notice. It makes them feel unwanted, insecure, and, in some cases, even depressed.

So, is it time to address the issue or let go? How long can your relationship survive on a quick peck before rolling over and falling asleep? How long can you live like roommates, sharing bills and coordinating school pickups, without a real, intimate connection?

Build a relationship where you long for each other, not just share a Netflix account. It’s about wanting to be close, about creating intimacy through open and trusting communication, not out of obligation, but out of desire.​​